It's Friday again already. Right? Isn't it? I think I'm gay. [Goddamn it Scott! I leave my computer for two fucking seconds!]
So now, you've got to figure out a way to kill off the next couple of hours. You just ate a big meal, and things are getting awfully drowsy. Maybe it doesn't quite feel like Friday just yet. Maybe last night you played a bunch a Joy Division songs with a half-real half-fake band you're kind of in and maybe got more drunk than you planned at the show. Maybe you're not yet feeling any better.
Five o'clock is coming like a freight train, but first you've got to get through these next couple of excruciating hours. Don't worry... this will help. . .
+ The New York Mets brand new ballpark is way ahead of schedule on becoming a run-down shit-hole like their last one. [Beehive Hairdresser]
+ The Recently Deflowered Girl: The Right Thing to Say On Every Dubious Occasion is serious and quite peculiar. [Livejournal]
+ I can't decide if a new Star Wars-themed toy, The Force Trainer, is really awesome or severely retarded. Probably both. [Film Drunk]
+ Cal Ripken, still retired, has his eyes on the record for longest consecutive streak of days being retired. [Roto Zoo]
+ Rumours and Rants does its best Drunk Jays Fans impression. [Rumors and Rants]
+ Six completely baffling old-school video game commercials. [Cracked]
+ I don't care that you'd prefer not to know how much jizz is in an average Motel 6 room. You're going to sit there and watch this and find out.
+ If only I'd known he was running, I would have campaigned so hard for McBain!
+ And because there can really never be enough Ranier Wolfcastle...
+ Michael Jordan is one hell of a fucking actor.
+ Just. Too. Seriously. Funny. To. Not. Exclaim. As. Much. Using. Single. Word. Sentences.
+ Gee, I wonder why this kid isn't in the public school system? (Actually, I'll save you five minutes and just tell you, it's because he's a smug little awkward nerd boy pecker.)