Baseball: As wholesome and American as apple pie and injecting hormones into your friend's ass.

Fan IQ has just posted a tidbit that will appear in the upcoming Joe Torre / Tom Verducci book, The Yankee Years, and even though it's about Roger Clemens, not A-Rod, and even though it has nothing to do with Roger Clemens taking copious amounts of steroids, it's still a little bit hilariously awesome. . .

Apparently Torre's co-writer (read: writer), Tom Verducci of Sports Illustrated, spoke to Yankees trainer Steve Donahue about, among other things, the Rocket's pre-game ritual.

Clemens’ usual pregame preparation included taking a whirlpool bath at the hottest temperature possible. 

“He’d come out looking like a lobster,” Donahue said. 

But here's the money quote:

Then Donahue would rub the hottest possible liniment on his testicles.

“He’d start snorting like a bull,” the trainer said. “That’s when he was ready to pitch.”

hhhhWHAT?

In a related story, the Yankees are now considering a clause in all contracts that, from now on, will require employees to rub ointment on their own damn balls refrain from publishing books that aren't "positive in tone" and "do not breach the sanctity of our clubhouse". (From MLB.com)