How the hell is it possible for Michael Phelps to look this much like Screech?

Finally! What I've been waiting for all week is finally happening. Michael Phelps has been dropped by Kellogg's, and by Subway, he's been suspended by USA Swimming, had Christian motherfucking Bale come to his defence, though I believe Bale is through with him, professionally, and is now getting shit on (figuratively) by parents of young athletes-- or as I prefer to call them, a giant pack of hysterical idiots.

Um... hey idiots, he was arrested for drunk driving four years ago!!! I understand being concerned about your kids' role models, or your company's spokespeople and everything, but uh, you're going to look past that and then go apeshit over this? How the hell does that come anywhere close to making sense? And what the hell kind of insular world do you inhabit where pot is still this horrible thing?

Ugh. For a while there I thought people might actually not be complete fucking retards about this, but evidently not.

Fortunately, there are a still a few people out there with a lick of sense-- like Lee Stranahan, who writes in the Huffington Post that Kellogg's should be boycotted, and that they are, in fact, alienating one of their core customer groups: stoners. Clearly this is something Kellogg's hadn't thought about.

Or then there are the fine folks at COED Magazine, who bring us this very topical list of the 10 most successful potheads on the planet (or former potheads)-- featuring such unmotivated losers as Barack Obama, Ted Turner, Sir Richard Branson, Michael Bloomberg and Arnold Schwarzenegger.