In the latest issue of ESPN The Magazine, the ubiquitous American sports network has produced their seventh annual Ultimate Team Rankings, in which they “measure how much MLB, NBA, NFL and NHL franchises give back to the fans in exchange for all the time, money and emotion the fans invest in them.”
They did this by ranking franchises by a number of different factors—like ownership, affordability, fan relations, the players, coaching, and one they called “Bang For The Buck” in which they calculated “wins during the past three years (regular season plus postseason) per revenues directly from fans, adjusted for league schedules.”—and then provided composite, overall ranking. You can read a more detailed explanation of their methodology here.
Publications always do stuff like this, and while the rankings are ultimately meaningless, they’re an interesting conversation starter—for example, how much do you want to bet that this list was being compiled while the Blue Jays were off to their hot start?—plus, it’s always fun to have a laugh at the expense of the Leafs.
Here are how the Canadian franchises ranked:
1. Toronto Blue Jays (31st of 122 – +36 places from 2008)
Alright, the Jays certainly do have a few things going for them, but right away I’m going to have to throw up a gigantic red flag on this entire list. The Jays are the best franchise in Canada based on what they “give back to the fans in exchange for all the time, money and emotion the fans invest in them”??? Okaaay…
“The biggest boost,” says ESPN, “can be attributed to the rehiring of fan favorite Cito Gaston as skipper.” And it doesn’t hurt that the Jays have the cheapest average ticket in the American League.
2. Ottawa Senators (53rd of 122 - -24 places from 2008)
“Even as attendance at Scotiabank Place has fallen (4.4%), so has the cost for fans (9.8%),” says ESPN in trying to explain how the Senators have managed to keep a middling spot in their rankings, despite a team in transition that has gone through three coaches since early 2008 and missed the playoffs only a couple years after their appearance in the cup finals. And this doesn’t hurt: “The Sens offer the cheapest-per-ounce beer in the league ($4.63 for 14 ounces).”
3. Calgary Flames (60th of 122 - -6 places from 2008)
“Fans like Ownership's ability to lock up stars -- like immensely popular captain Jarome Iginla, defensive giant Dion Phaneuf and goalie Miikka Kiprusoff [note: you can now add Jay Bouwmeester to the list] -- for the long term. While that means ticket prices aren't dropping soon -- the average price of $55.07 is almost six bucks higher than the league standard -- the Flames play to 100% capacity.” The only thing holding the Flames back is all those first-round playoff exits—four straight now—and the uncertainty in the leadership behind the bench. Though maybe that will change now that Mike Keenan has been replaced by Brent Sutter.
4. Vancouver Canucks (79th of 122 - +12 places from 2008)
The Vancouver Canucks sure are lucky that the Toronto Maple Leafs are around to deflect all the attention from their own ridiculously-long Stanley Cup drought. “At $88.22, the team has the league's fifth-highest per-game costs,” writes ESPN. “Even with a season-ticket waiting list of more than 4,000 fans, a string of more than 250 sellouts and a team headed to the playoffs, the Canucks found a way to dampen fan spirit in March by tacking on a 2% average rise on most ticket prices. ‘We're not isolated from the economic issue,’ says Canucks COO Victor de Bonis, ‘but the product is very good.’ Pretty smug talk for a guy whose club has made the postseason just twice in the past four seasons and hasn't been in the Finals since 1994.”
5. Montreal Canadiens (100th of 122 - -27 places from 2008)
“Habs fans were expecting a bounty of gifts for their club's 100th birthday: hosts of All-Star Weekend, Centennial Jersey Nights, official coins from the Royal Canadian Mint. But what they really wanted was behind curtain No. 2: a shiny new Cup! Unfortunately, they ended up with a team that went into la toilette before the All-Star break and was swept in a one-and-done in the postseason. That didn't stop management from charging prices through the Bell Centre roof, and why not? Filling the arena to max occupancy since 2004 has been an empty-netter in a city whose citizens would choose hockey over oxygen.”
6. Edmonton Oilers (102nd of 122 - -22 places from 2008)
The Oilers keep sliding in these rankings, down from a high of 46th in ‘07, in the afterglow of their Stanley Cup run. Play on the ice, which hasn’t been good enough, is the major factor, plus “fan appreciation seems to be an afterthought in Edmonton, where the average stub goes for $54.17 (10th priciest in the NHL) to watch a game in a 35-year-old Rexall Place with narrow concourses, a small scoreboard, and out-of-date concessions.”
7. Toronto Raptors (105th of 122 - -61 places from 2008)
“Q: What happens when your team plays in a hockey-crazy city, gets no run from American media and manages just one playoff series win in 14 years? A: You develop a dinosaur-size inferiority complex,” says ESPN in justifying a perhaps surprisingly-low ranking for the Raptors. “Raptor rooters are beginning to worry that Bosh is too soft, especially after Shaq referred to him as ‘the RuPaul of big men’ following a February tilt in which the Diesel torched Bosh for his highest point total (45) in six years,” and with Bosh expecting a max contract next summer, who knows where this franchise is headed?
8. Toronto Maple Leafs (120th of 122 - +1 place from 2008)
“‘Most of the best seats are property of corporations and institutions, and what's left are held by either long-term season ticket-holders or bought up by scalpers,’ says Sean McIndoe of the popular [note: and awesome] Leafs blog Down Goes Brown. To see the real blue-bleeders, McIndoe adds, ‘watch a game in Buffalo or Ottawa, where Leafs fans take over the entire building.’ And pay 40% less to watch their team lose.” But hey, even though they’re last in the NHL, at least they’re now better than the Clippers.