Obligatory Sports Babe
I have no particular reason—as usual—for this, but who could possibly complain about using Alyssa Milano in this space? (Hint: If you said “me”, you’re probably in the wrong space).
Sour Patch Penner
“When asked today about his off-ice training, Dustin Penner remarked what he missed the most with his strict off-season diet,” reports the Oilers’ official site on their overpaid, sweet-toothed forward. “ ‘Sour Patch Kids, that's a favourite of mine. If they're watching hopefully (I can get) a sponsorship deal,’ he joked.”
Making The Wrong Vick
“What does a company do when they have a bunch of spare Michael Vick action figure pieces laying around?” asks Sports Crackle Pop, who have the ridiculous photo evidence of the answer: “You put them together to create Matt Leinart.”
Jack White: Less Of A Complete Douche Than You’d Probably (Or At Least Ought To) Assume
“Jack White may have ditched his hometown of Detroit to settle down more comfortably in Nashville, but he’s definitely not leaving behind his old stomping grounds to fester amid the recession. In fact, the White Stripes, Raconteurs, and Dead Weather rock star is trying his hand at philanthropy,” reports TwentyFourBit.com. “The Detroit News reports that White covertly donated $170,000 towards the restoration of Clark Park field, a baseball diamond where White played ball as a kid.” Nails.
FJM On Deadspin
In case you missed the Fire Joe Morgan reunion at Deadspin yesterday, they nailed it with a bunch of stuff like this skewering of an idiot who wrote an article about the scrappiest, most David Eckstein-ish players in the majors: "Scrappy" and "grinders" in one article! So good to be back. Also, I love the self-congratulatory tone of every article about scrap: "Hey man, no one notices these guys, but I do. I look deep into the game. Have you heard of this guy David Eckstein? He has the heart of a hummingbird and the hands of a six-week-old fetus, and HE SUCKS AT BASEBALL. I love him more than life itself.":
How To Convince Your Girlfriend To Like Football
“If you're lucky enough to have a girlfriend that enjoys watching football, then do whatever you can to hold onto that woman. Tie her up and lock her in the basement, and make absolutely sure that she never escapes from you, ever,“ says Holy Taco. “If you're one of the millions of dudes who's girlfriend disapproves of your weekend pigskin obsession, don't kick your girl to the curb just yet. She's probably willing to like watching football with you, but first she needs to cycle through all of the bullshit arguments as to why football sucks.”
Crackovia
I have no idea what they’re saying, but this Catalan-language show, Crackovia, apparently—at least, according to the Spoiler—takes the piss out of the upper echelon of Spanish football. And even though the guys playing Puyol and Ibrahimovic here look pretty accurate, holy how about Pep Guardiola. Crazy! Now…if only I had a damn clue what they were saying… Ziga Zaga! Ziga Zaga!