Obligatory Sports Babe

Before we get too far away from the Yankees (ugh) World Series triumph, let’s dip back into the well of Derek Jeter ex’s, as provided to us by Gunaxin. Today yet another reminder that to be Derek Jeter would be really ridiculously awesome: Jessica Alba.

Speaking of the Yankees…

“A 95-year-old Bronx native told reporters Wednesday that he is ‘worried sick’ that he won't live to see the Yankees win another 27 World Series titles,” says the Onion, hilarious as usual. “ ‘We came so close in 1955, 1960, 1976, 2001, and 2004. If we had won just one of those, that would have been 27 right there,’ said Grippo, adding that while he was in attendance for Tommy Henrich's walk-off homer in 1949, Don Larson's perfect game in 1956, and Mickey Mantle's game-ending home run in 1964, none of it will matter if the Yankees don't win at least another 27 World Series championships.”

Stephen Colbert vs. Canada

Stephen Colbert put Canadians—or, specifically, “Canadian Iceholes”—on notice last week, outraged over the way Canada has barred access to Olympic venues to non-Canadian athletes who wish to train there, prompting this amazing line to actually be printed in the National Post: “U.S. speed skater Joey Cheek was a guest on the show, calling the alleged Canadian venue-hogging ‘a dick move’ on the part of the organizers.”

Quickly

University of Kentucky head football coach writes on Twitter as though he’s Raymond Chandler—a fact noticed by Every Day Should Be Saturday, to hilarious results.

Staying literary, The Score’s own, awesome Hockey Or Die! has a fantastic piece on Orwell, tribalism, bias and sportswriting. Too good.

“The 2009 Formula One season ended in Abu Dhabi last Sunday and, for Grand Prix racing fans,” writes Norris McDonald for the Toronto Star. “It might have been the day the music died.”

Thanks to the invaluable Fantasy Hockey Scouts, we have here a link to an article on BankNerd.ca explaining how the Stanley Cup is being whored out to Scotiabank, who will bring it on a promotional tour to small-town branches.

Dude Perfect On Ice

From Fark we have the unfortunately-named trick basketball shot crew, Dude Perfect, showing off their skills on the ice—and presumably, in editing 8 hours of footage into a tight 49 seconds.