Obligatory Sports Babe

This morning we’ll go with Sean Avery’s sloppy seconds, because according to Sportress of Blogitude, she’s been named Grand Marshall of the Grey Cup parade for this year’s event in Calgary.

Pretending To Care About NASCAR

“He has been dominant, he has been consistent, he has been a shatterer of records. He has been squeaky clean, he has been polite, and he has stayed out of controversy's way,” says the St. Petersburg Times of the soon-to-be four time NASCAR champ. “So here is what I'm wondering: Why don't you love Jimmie Johnson?”

Oxford Town, Oxford Town, Everybody’s Got Their Heads Bowed Down

“The Ku Klux Klan will be among the masses descending on Oxford this Saturday when the Tigers play the Rebels,” reports The Daily Reveille. “Shane Tate, the North Mississippi great titan for the Mississippi White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan, confirmed via e-mail the KKK will rally on Ole Miss’ campus in protest of the Ole Miss Chancellor Dan Jones’ decision to remove From Dixie with Love from the Ole Miss band’s song selection.” Stay classy, Ole Miss.

Making Figure Skating Slightly Less Lame

“Police say Russian figure skater Andrei Lutai stole a car and drove it while drunk after finishing 10th overall in the Skate America competition in Lake Placid,” says an Associated Press report. “Police have charged Lutai with grand larceny, criminal possession of stolen property, unauthorized use of a vehicle and aggravated driving while intoxicated.”

The Greatest Thing Ever?

Sign On San Diego has done all sports fans the wonderful service of putting together an NFL arrest database that ranges from 2000 to present, while making it searchable by player, team, position, or any combination of the three. Pointless but to illustrate the ridiculous leniency of the NFL, but also gold.

Less Leafs!!!

'”How much longer will the Maple Leafs be foisted on the majority of the nation each Saturday night?” asks the Toronto Sun, before answering their own question. “The deeper the struggling team's slump gets and the greater the level of anger rises in Leafs Nation, the closer CBC executives will look at how many homes the team reaches on Canada's most-watched weekly sports program.”

Brawl!

Here, via The Spoiler, we have a Copa Sudamerica brawl between Fluminese and Cerro Porteno, which started after Cerro Porteno conceded twice in injury time to lose 3-1 on aggregate. Yeah… it’ll do…